Embracing Regrets

November/December 2005




upcoming events

Regina's Upcoming Speaking Engagements

November 8th at 4pm (pdt)
Creating Extaordinary Parternships through Love, Power and Community. Register
(tele-interview)

Edges Coaching Community
Regina will be introduced to this national, cutting edge coaching community where she will intimately interview dear friend and masterful colleague, Leadership Coach, Jennifer Cohen, Founder, The Center for Meaningful Leadership.

November 15th at 5:30pm
The Myths and Truths of Having
it All
Register
(in person)

Portland Female Executives
Regina will speak on the truths and lies of "Having it All". Join us for this interactive, workshop-style speaking engagement where Regina will interview two successful women who are living their own version of "Having it All". Katherine Gray, CEO, Tweak Interactive and Kerry McClenahan, CEO, McClenahan Bruer.

Other Events Around Portland

November and December
Incubate Oregon and Ladies Who Launch Workshops and Premier Networking Events

Portland Female Executives (PDXfX)~ Check out the special Holiday Event for December!

Wired Women Web Society

Oregon Entrepreneurs Forum

The Link for Women

Noteworthy Links and Resources

Self-Forgiveness

Book and CD Resources on this month's Topic:
Radical Self-Acceptance (book and CD), Tara Brach and
The Power of Now, Eckhart Toll
and
You are What you Say, Dr. Matthew Budd

powerful results

"Regina is warm and full of genuine alive passion for transforming the lives of her clients...."

Find out More >


Introduction
Welcome to the November/December newsletter for Perata Consulting, Ltd. In January, you can look forward to expansions of our business and offering: a face lift to our website as well as new and talented Associates servicing the areas of Fitness, Well Being and Life Coaching. You will also find new seminars, workshops, articles and audios both solo and in collaboration with cutting edge, pioneering coaches and leaders.

Embracing Regrets
"I don't believe in having regrets. I believe we learn from everything, so there is no regret." Does this sound familiar?

If you're like most human beings, then you know that dealing with the negative IMPACT of your choices and actions is incredibly challenging. We typically hide from the negative, squash any regret that emotion stirs up, and dismiss the impact by saying, "Oh, well. I learned."

Learned what, exactly?

Regret is real. And, sticky and sorry as it feels, it is a way IN to your integrity, your performance, the health of your business and the wholeness of how you live. Tip-toe over the negative impact, and you avoid responsibility for what you have created. You miss an opportunity to grow.

That you can learn from your mistakes is a given. The question is WHO WILL YOU BE in the face of regret?

The Invitation
Given the year's end is just around the corner, I invite you to embrace your regrets. Be brave and deal effectively with the impact you created. Be powerful and embrace your regret, or your employees', and grow your relationships into new possibilities. Don't go into 2006 with a million little (or a few big) wishes from 2005. Create power in your life by telling the truth about what you should have said or done…no matter how "past it" you think you are. None of us is beyond regret. It's part of the game of life.

The Practice
You can use your regrets as a failsafe tool to move powerfully in your leadership and your life.

Get in a quiet space. Bring the regret or wish or "should have" to mind. Take the time to let yourself get present to the feelings that are associated with that regret. Are you sad? Are you angry? Are you afraid you can't trust yourself to make a different choice if you had it to do again? Move fully into the grieving. Remember that whatever happened happened; don't make it MEAN anything. Just be with the facts.

Ask yourself: What are the facts? What am I making up? (We live often like our assessments are the TRUTH when they are not.) What is the impact or cost of how I am relating to this regret?

Now, get present and feel what there is to feel. Fear? Relief? An opening? Is there anyone to forgive? Including yourself? If so, forgive.

Then, put your past in the past and grant it permission to stay there. Mind the fine line between allowing yourself to stay with the emotions and milking them for all they are worth. Declare the past complete and move forward free and fully in the NOW.

Being present is your most powerful way of operating. In business and relationship, you will find that to complete your regrets is to BE fully present, and as such, to reach your utmost potential.

In courage and peace,
Regina
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